So I instantly demanded that my husband (an artiste, darling) help me to reveal his hidden soul. Who knew that aubergines are so naturally pensive? I am particularly fond of his Elvis quiff though. Everyone needs a good quiff!
I named him Alfred and gave him the prized title of Soux Chef and he's spent his time since keeping the kitchen in order, overseeing chopping proceedings and guarding the morning's brioche attempt.
Below: Poor Alfred struggles to come to terms with the realities of kitchen life
And now his time is done, but I've grown attached to the little fella (surprising nobody) and can't bring myself to slice him open. Can anyone recommend a fitting dish to give Alfie the send off he deserves?